The D.C. Chronicles are recountings of my times in the District of Columbia. Whenever, I'm in town, I never cease to enjoy myself or have some random experiences that absolutely redefine my life for the time being. These won't be so much blog post as stories of one half of the Diabolical Duo.



DC Chronicles - The Yaris
Saturday, February 28, 2009

Alright, this is going to be a short entry because its pretty cut and dry; however, I thought it needed its own place in the Chronicles. By the way, to the groupies and lovers out there who wait with bated breath for the installments of the chronicles, I will be doing Gate Chronicles, so no worries.

When I last left off a couple weeks ago, I told you how this guy sat next to me at the bar, and I said to him, "Hello, I'm not hitting on you, but I just want to know your name." Now, of course, I was hitting him, but I had no expectations of the night. Here's the thing, in my drunken stupor, he looked like Noah from Noah's Arc (just his build, his hair, his skin tone, his voice, and other factors), so I couldn't pass up the opportunity. So he turned to me slowly and was like hey, well my name is .... (to be completely honest, I was kinda on the verge of goneness and it was loud in that bar, so I had no idea what he said; especially, since it was a "hood", and I don't do well with those; all I know is that it started with D and ended with a té), so its been awhile so I don't remember specific, but we seemed to talk for hours (it prolly wasn't that long, but I know I couldn't focus on anyone but him, not even the lil' nugget steady staring at me across the bar). We talked about school and worked, and since I had some extra money 'cause I had drinks bought for me all night, I bought him a cranberry and vod, and he started talking some bullsh*t like "oh I never drink like this, I hope you aren't tryna get me drunk", I replied, "thats exactly what I'm doing." And he laughed not knowing that it wasn't a joke or maybe it was (Most of my friends know my humor style, I'll say something that sounds like joke, but I'll be totally honest, and since most people aren't used to honesty they think I'm joking... I'm not). So I was like let me get your number, and this dude said he doesn't like to give out his number (AFTER I BOUGHT YOU A DRINK?! LOL), so I put my phone in front of him open so that he could input his own data at anytime during the conversation (and hopefully his name), so he kept on looking across the bar making faces like he knew somebody there, and I'm really sure what that was about, and rest assured I asked, and he was like nothing, but I can read faces and body language like an expert, its why I'm so popular. Looking back on it now, something wasn't right, but doop doop. So as I was talking to this dude, a group of older gentleman appeared at my right flank tryin to get my attention, so being the nice guy that we all know I am, I entertained the group, and they had one white guy in there crew that between pop, lock, and dropping it was straight grillin' me (it needed to stop). So meanwhile, I'm talking to D-té on my left and then these older guys to my right were whispering about how cute I looked (dead ass... THIS WAS A WONDERFUL EVENING), and specifically they were trying to talk their friend Danny into talking to me, and in the darkness of the bar and my state of inebriation Danny didn't look that bad (he had a nice smile), so I turned to Danny (I know rude, since I was tryna run my game to the dude on my left, but that's swagga, the ability to run game on all fronts LOL), so Danny was like "how old are you?", I replied "22", and in college years thats old, so thought I was so mature, and then Danny was like, "aww you're a baby, I'm 33", but he looked mad young though, so props to the older folks who "preserve their sexy", so we exchanged contacts (and he was trying to get my to go to Club Liv too), but then another older guy tried to get at me, and I was like oh I'm sorry this is my boyfriend (pointing to the D-té), so the older guy asks D-té if that was true, and he was like "yeah". I was like we've been together for about a year and a half now (LOL), so then D-té and I started forming this elaborate story of how we met through a friend from college, and how we had a strong relationship (seriously we had comedic chemistry, which is the best type of chemistry 'cause that means you get me). Then D-té was like I saw you getting that number, you seem like a "player", and I was like , 1) is the word player still in? 2) who me? I'm not a player, I'm just a nerd who studies and can't get a guy to look twice at me. So he replied "well, you're mad cute, and I like a nerd"; so after a little more conversation, he was indicated it was getting late, and he was right I had to be up by 8:30a for the Model AU conference, so I we both stumbled to the bathroom and peed (in separate stalls), meanwhile this lil shorty bop tried to talk to me in the bathroom, and was like "sup, cutie", and I replied, "Hi, is tryna get some dick while one urinates, hot in the streets right now?", and he said, "oh I'm sorry shawty" and he proceeded to exit the bathroom post haste.

So D-té and I stumble down the narrow stairs and out the bar, and then I was like hot damn, ths this is the skinny dude with his booty overflowing his jeans from when I entered the bar hours ago (what were the chances... it was like it was meant to be). So then we exit and I was looking for a cab, and he was like I could drive you back to your hotel. So I was like ok, and then I'm like wait, "Are you sure you can drive in this state?" (don't ever ask this question of a drunk person everyone, they will just say yes, just take the keys)... I responded, "Ok". Then we walked up to a silver Toyota Yaris that he said he was renting 'cause his car was getting fixed, so we drove while talking and laughing from the bar on DuPont to my hotel in Thomas Circle, which was like 5 minutes away as it turns out. So then we pull up to the hotel and he parks across the street (this dude can drive wonderfully under the influence). Then we start talking, and I'm still trying to get his number, and then he's like give me your number, so I do (I got played 'cause this dude never called *tear*). So he was talking about how he didn't want to get involved with someone long distance, and I'm like but I'm gonna be moving here in a couple months anyways, and then I moved closer to him while he was talking that bullsh*t, and I took his chin turned his face to mine and we started kissing (AND OMFG, IT WAS LIKE THE WORLD WAS EXPLODING AROUND, like that scene from Watchmen when Night Owl and Silk Spectre are kissing while a nuclear explosion was happening... if you haven't already check out Watchmen). I've never had kissing chemistry with somebody like that in my life, it was like our bodies knew each in another life, so then I went down to his neck and gently kissed him right under his earlobe, and moved down while spelling his cologne, while he whispered in my ear, "I want you so much". Then he proceeded to sucking my neck (AND I WAS LIKE OH NO, I"M GONNA HAVE A HICKEY TOMORROW), but I let him continue, and it felt so good, then he began to unzip my jeans, as I took off his hoodie (meanwhile people where walking by the Yaris, looking in, and I didn't give a fuck)... GRAPHIC CONTENT ALERT: He was like, "I don't know if you can handle me, and then he pulled out my "you know what", and he said, "damn, maybe you can" (I FELT REAL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF), and then he proceeding to... Needless to say, we did some stuff in that rental, that Avis would not condone (LOL), and I'll say this, our sexual chemistry was like whoa. So I stumbled out the car pants still undone, never to see my mystery dude again, and as I entered the hotel, the whole Colgate crew was down in the f*cking lobby, like "Where have you been?"

UPDATE: I THINK I FOUND THE MYSTERY DUDE ON FACEBOOK, BUT HE WON'T RESPOND TO MY MESSAGES OR FRIEND REQUESTS, SO MAYBE I SHOULD CHALK IT UP TO A ONE NIGHT STAND AND CALL IT A DAY... DOOP DOOP.

Entry # 2 Closed

Check back in for the end of this story, I promise its good.

Preview
Next: DC Chronicles - U Street: Find out about the crazy lady at Creme.
Then: DC Chronicles - The Mill: Find out about the so called Mill and the not so straight cabby who interviewed me on the life and times of Michael Jackson.
After that: 'GATE Chronicles - The Summit: Find out about the Community Summit and how something change, but somethings stay the same (Black folk don't know how to act LOL).